A parody by Fritz Karl Wilhelm Mueller
The wind wailed through the towering pines of Grand National Park. The sun illuminated the landscape. Those pines were more than five hundred years old. They stood unchanging like the forest itself. The animals lived in a flawless balance with nature. No humans had ruined this pristine wilderness for some time. The trails overgrew with shrubs. Gathering, clouds brought an ominous dread to the forest. It became darker by the minute. Suddenly, lightning brightened the terrain. As the rain pummeled the forest, most of the animals darted in fear. Not all the animals were terrified of the storm. The bear roared in delight.
The master of the animals in this forest was the bear. The bear was hardy. His general color is black above and brownish dark below. His legs were very powerful. He could use his hind legs to stand upright. His front legs could get to hard to reach places. He had a keen sense of smell and hearing but a less well developed sense of sight. This bear had an omnivorous diet. The bear liked eating fish, termites, ants, honey, fruit and nuts. The bear could catch his meals with incredible speed. Trees, water or land did not stop him from his prey. This bear preferred to be alone. He did not like to share food or care for the young. Caring for the young would be left to his mates. Yet he possessed much wisdom.
The bear saw a new animal in the forest today. The other animals in the forest were afraid of this new animal. This new animal walked on two feet. It was about six feet tall. The new animal also wore clothing. How was the bear to know that this new animal was a human? The bear started to walk towards the human in curiosity. The human noticed the bear. Then the human took out a gun. The human fired the gun at the bear. The bullet barely skimmed the bear. The bear immediately took off. Although the bears’ stomach growled in hunger, he did not care about fish, insects, honey or fruits. The bear only needed to survive. The human started to pursue the bear. The bears’ only hope for survival was to run deeper into the forest. The bear would have to go through precarious and craggy terrain if he went deeper into the forest.
As the bear laboured more to climb a steep knoll, his feet hurt frequently. Then, a large net fell on him. He immediately started to tear at the net. He escaped the net after some time. The bear could now hear the human coming closer and closer. The bears’ panic grew by the minute. Then the bear came upon a precipitous valley. The bear slipped and tumbled down the slope. When he woke, he heard the human. The human was even closer now. He tried to take off but one of his legs was injured during the fall. The bear limped slowly but stubbornly forward. The bears’ life was at stake. A bear could stand a bit of pain for that. As the vegetation grew thicker, the human fell farther behind the bear. The bear would have to walk for a few more minutes before he could lose the human. He could hear the human less and less.
Finally, he could not hear the human at all. The bear thought that his journey had ended. The bear decided to go to a riverbank to rest. He collapsed on the riverbank. He would need a bit of sleep before he could return to optimum condition. The soothing sounds of the river calmed the bear. Then, suddenly, the bear heard something.
The bear saw the human approaching. The human raised the gun and was ready to shoot. The bear decided to stop running. He charged towards the human. The human hit the bear with a bullet but it was too late. The bear had already reached the human. Although the bear was suffering, he could attack the human. He opened a gash in the humans’ stomach. He then broke the humans’ neck with one blow. His adversary was dead. The bear then saw darkness cover his eyes. The bear felt less and less around him. From above the forest, one could hear a bear’s panicky roar. The roaring became quieter with each roar. Then the roaring died off.
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